Triggers at Work
Simple Triggers That Make You Feel Like You Do Not Belong
Scenario 1:
Coworker: “I came back from vacation and my puppy is giving me an attitude. We left her with a friend while we were gone. Now she’s acting like she doesn’t know us.”
Responses flood in:
“Oh my puppy does the same sometimes.”
“Oh, you’re such a bad mama!”
“That is hilarious. Bribe her!”
Scenario 2:
Another coworker, same chat thread, different tone:
“My daughter is home sick with a runny nose, a mild fever, sore throat, and body aches.”
Responses:
Crickets🦗 🦗 🦗
That silence??? That’s a trigger!!!
It’s a small moment, but it stings. And if you’ve ever come from a culture that centers family, where communal care is not a value but a given, you know exactly what that sting means.
It says…..
”Your child doesn’t matter as much as my pet.”
”Your life is too heavy for our light workplace vibe.”
”Your reality doesn’t quite belong here.”
When Individualism Feels Like Isolation
I’ve lived in two cultural worlds. One that wraps you in community like a warm blanket and another that champions personal freedom even if that freedom sometimes looks like emotional detachment.
Let me be clear: individualism is not inherently bad.
It protects boundaries, encourages independence, and respects privacy. You don’t owe anyone your story, your time, or your emotional labor. That’s powerful.
But if you’re someone who thrives on connection, who grew up in a society where showing up for each other was the default, not the exception, it can feel... empty.
Like you’re constantly making the effort to engage while others stay emotionally out of reach.
The Pros and Cons: Let’s Be Fair
Where Does Faith Fit Into This?
If you’re a Muslim woman navigating this cultural tension, know this: your values are not outdated or too emotional. They are deeply rooted in a faith that honors community as a cornerstone of life.
“And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.”
— Surah Al-Ma’idah, 5:2
Islam emphasizes ummah—a collective identity that goes beyond bloodlines. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“The believers, in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever.”
— Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim
This is why it feels strange when empathy is absent. You're not overreacting. You're reacting from a place of spiritual alignment.
So Which Culture Offers a More Meaningful Life?
Honestly? It depends on your definition of “meaningful.”
If you value freedom, privacy, and control over your time, individualism may feel more aligned.
If you find meaning in shared stories, collective resilience, and interdependence communal cultures will speak to your soul.
Here’s where I land, as a Muslim woman navigating both worlds:
Islam, at its core, honors community. The Prophet ﷺ lived a life of deep connection: visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, pausing his day for the distressed. These weren’t acts of obligation; they were acts of presence.
But let’s be real, not every Muslim is raised in a communal setting. Some grow up in societies or families where privacy and personal autonomy are central. And sometimes, culture drowns out faith, even for the most sincere hearts.
So this isn’t about right or wrong. It’s about alignment.
Am I living in a way that reflects what matters to me?
Am I extending the kind of care I wish to receive?
For me, meaning is in the we, but I hold space for the me too.
And if you’re doing your best to live with heart, boundaries, and faith in a world that often chooses one over the other, you’re not failing.
You’re navigating.
You belong.
Even if the room goes quiet when you speak your truth.
💬 I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever felt emotionally disconnected at work or in social spaces?
What helped you feel grounded again?
Share in the comments or hit reply to this email.
💌 Join the circle.